Did you know there are levels to your erotic and emotional intelligence? Being intimately intelligent is about far more than sexual skills. It’s a practiced skill set that represents your level of emotional maturity, your artfulness in communication, and how confidently you own your beautiful and unique sensual desires. These levels also correlate to your ability to attune both to yourself and other people, which, in my opinion, is the single most important aspect of connection. We will get to your nervous system and how it relates to your ability to connect with others in just a little while, but for now?
As you read through these, ask yourself- “Where am I now? Where do I WANT to be?”
Remember, “ You cannot intervene in a world you cannot see”, which is why having a metric and guide who can reflect back to you where you are as well as what’s possible is absolutely critical to this journey.
As an online relationship coach, I don’t imagine that you want to be “basic” when it comes to your bedroom skills, do you? Nobody really wants that, but the truth is- that’s where most people live until they enter the world of conscious communication and pleasure based sex. This goes for people in the world of personal development and spirituality as much as for Muggles- the truth is, many of you are have high ideals when it comes to relationship. The way you actually show is up? Is not as conscious as you think. And no wonder! We are talking about the most vulnerable aspects of being human here. So don’t judge yourself, but do get clear on where you are and where you want to be!
If you are READY to be the kind of lover and person who is the OPPOSITE of sex, aka embodied and you want the following for yourself
🌹your beloved sings praises about because you are that incredible as a partner
🌹You have delicious, hot, and sacred sex that fulfills you on a soul level consistently instead of every now and again
🌹You own your pleasure and sensual desires without guilt or shame that has been 🌹conditioned into most of society who are still stuck at the basic level of erotic fulfillment
🌹You easily dates high value men and women that meet your ideals and values without settling because you are confident and magnetic
🌹You know how to keep the fire burning in your long term relationship so it gets better and better instead of living like roommates
🌹You bring curiosity, creativity, and fun into your relationships and understand the importance of this as a lifelong practice!!
Do you want all the skills and frameworks to bring this to reality- in just 3-6 months time?
You are in the right place!
But first- You need to know where you are so you can know where you are going, am I right??
Without further ado, I present to you the 5 levels of Erotic & Emotional Embodiment! As an online sex and intimacy coach who has supported hundreds of singles and couples from around the globe, these are the patterns I have observed both in society, in the people who come to do this work with me, and in the leaders of this space and movement. Every single person I have supported for 3 months has jumped levels, and those who have stayed with me longer?? Have timewarped their transformations and completely changed their romantic lives. Read on to learn exactly where you are, and to get clear on where you want to go!
The 5 Levels of Erotic & Emotional Intelligence
Level 1: Basic AF– You, my friend, have been doing sex based on what you saw in Hollywood movies growing up. You believe that there must be an orgasm and genital penetration to call an experience sexual or satisfying, and you don’t share your needs or desires with your partners. Maybe sex doesn’t feel very good or good at all, but you go with it because you believe you are “supposed to”. You feel uncomfortable with your body and think it needs to look a certain way to be desirable.
Single/Dating– you are blindly swiping, saying yes to whoever wants a date with you without discernment or based solely on superficial measures like their looks or social status, and you sex as an escape from your life, or because your attachment system is activated, instead of checking in with yourself to know where you really are
Relationship– you don’t talk about the hard stuff, your sex is programmed and automatic, or you don’t have it all, and you are living on autopilot. You are unconsciously replaying out your parents patterns with no awareness, and have little to no conflict resolution skills. You are always leaving the house or checking out with TV or scrolling to escape your relationship
Level 2: Stirring– This is when you start to recognize something is missing from your intimate life. You don’t feel connected, and you are wondering why. You want more, but you aren’t sure how to ask for it, and are scared of your true desires, needs, and feelings. You are worried about what people will think about you or rocking the boat of relationship- but something feels off and you know it! You are starting to open your mind, even though you don’t know what to do or where to go next. You are starting to connect to your body, but you are still uncomfortable with your sexuality, and may hide yourself through baggy clothes or headshots only.
Single/Dating-You are no longer content with the same kind of person you dated in the past, dissatisfied with old patterns of chasing unavailable partners or being unavailable yourself, and noticing your social circle doesn’t reflect your evolving values. You are wondering “where are my people?”, and might be feeling lonely as you start to emotionally disconnect from people who don’t match the you that is desiring to emerge.
Relationship– You notice that you and your partner have been drifting apart and aren’t connected like you used to be, and you want to change that, but you aren’t sure how yet. You are aware that you’ve been living like a muggle, and want something different. Yet even though you want something different, you don’t do anything about it, and still don’t have the conversations you need to. You might be avoiding dealing with your relationship problems altogether, but it nags at you.
Level 3: Awakening– You have declared “fuck this!” to your former life of repression, unsatisfying connection, and hiding your true self behind a mask. You are getting deep into the books and podcasts like Your Sexual (R)evolution, and are ready for a new level of erotic and emotional intelligence that matches the new you are working towards revealing to yourself and the world. You’ve started to dip your toes into new social circles, but you still feel a little awkward and unpracticed at a lot of tools like how to create sacred containers for sensual experiences. You are learning to love your body exactly the way it is, even if it still feels new and uncomfortable at times. You are beginning to realize that being flawed is part of being human- and that’s dope.
Single/Dating– You are way more discerning about who you date and go out with, but some red flags still slip through. Your attachment style is activated, like you still chase people who aren’t really available, but for way less time than before. Or if you tend towards avoidance, you notice you want to let people in now, but aren’t sure how just yet. Overall, you are definitely in a different mindset, and may be wondering “How do I meet people that align with my new values and standards?”
Relationship– You are starting to bring the truth of the state of your relationship to your partner. You are having more difficult conversations, and being honest about your sexual needs and desires. You are still fumbling to get it right, but at least you are trying! You are clear that not changing is a decision, and it is one that you are no longer willing to make because you want to be a stand for yourself and your partner.
Level 4: Conscious: You are crystal clear about your intimate desires, and know how to ask for them with ease and grace! In fact, you’ve started to love it, because you can’t believe how much you previously denied yourself! You have the communication tools and skillset to share what you like, what you don’t, and what you really need from your beloved. You are investing in your erotic and emotional intelligence because it is changing your LIFE and you highly value free expression of yourself as integral for a life worth living. You have deep connections in your intimate life by attracting high quality partners or going deeper with your beloved. You have stopped hiding the body parts you were ashamed about, and recognize you are worthy of pleasure flaws and all.
Single/Dating: You are attracting high quality partners, and know what activates your attachment style with clarity, and no longer let that control your dating decisions. You choose partners based on what you really desire, and have more fun in the bedroom and connections than ever before. You are expressive with your Eros, and care way, way less about what other people think. You feel more like yourself than you have in decades, or maybe even ever before, and are unapologetic about it with new potential partners- but not in a confrontational way, in a “here I am! I love myself a lot and if you like what you see, I might let you love me, too!”
Relationship: You are starting to truly let your partner in, you have deep conversations about what you desire and create containers for yourself and your beloved to experience what you both have been yearning for. You know what patterns no longer serve your partnership, and you acknowledge while taking active steps to work with them instead of allowing them to control your emotional responses. Your sex has gone to new levels and gives you incredible pleasure and joy. You really love your person, and your person really loves you, even though you don’t agree on everything all the time.
Level 5: Embodied: You effortlessly attract what you desire in and out of the bedroom, you are deeply and madly in love with all parts of yourself, including ones you used to shame and hide, and are a magnet for people around you. You explore your desires without fear, shame, or apology, and feel a deep peace and confidence in yourself. Your erotic encounters are next level, and sex is a spiritual, mind blowing, delicious experience. You radiate confidence, compassion, and are deeply present to whatever is in front of you. You love your body in ALL phases of life, and take exquisite care of yourself from a place of “This is my temple”, without feeling like you need to conform to society’s norms about beauty standards. You are comfortable with your fat, wrinkles, rolls, smells, sweat, and tears, because you accept them as part of being human. You are RADIANT from the inside out!!
Single/dating– You move through the dating world from a place of abundance, and never worry about finding a date or having a romantic partner to play with because you know how many amazing people there are in your field. You can attract a beloved simply by smiling welcomingly, and ask for what you desire without fear, shame, or apology. You attract high value, conscious partners who value and respect you, and love exploring with you. You know your boundaries, and love taking care of yourself in the most beautiful ways. You know your lovers will adore you, because that’s simply the kind of radiant being you are.
Relationship– Your friends all wish they had your relationship. You are deeply in love, and have incredible sex that is sacred and connected consistently. You are deeply emotionally present and mature, and understand how to navigate conflict skillfully and artfully. You thank the Gods for every waking day, no matter the challenges, because you and your partner have created a safety and connection that nothing can disturb. You have your own back- and so does your partner. You recognize that your relationship is it’s own entity, and needs care and attention just like you and your partners do as individuals- and you make space for it as a matter of course.
Wowww- Is anyone raising their hands saying “I want to be EMBODIED in my erotic and emotional intelligence! Yes please, more please!”
And- do you recognize that you are still at the lower levels of the pyramid? Are you feeling like
“Damn, I don’t want to stay here now that I know what’s possible”
“I’m tired of attracting emotionally unavailable people or being unavailable”
“I want high value partners in my life- how do I do that?”
“I am ready to be married to my romantic partner again instead of living like roommates for the rest of my life!”
Don’t worry. Every single person I’ve worked with, and myself, have all been at the basic level at one point in our lives, because we didn’t know better.
You are in the absolute right place.
🔥If you want to jump levels and compress the time it takes to go from Stirring to Conscious and Embodied-
🌹If you want a love that excited and nourishes you
❤️If you want to be the kind of partner that makes your lover swoon simply by looking at them
💦If you want toe curling, delicious sex that matches your fantasies and desires
🤩You understand the immense value of investing in yourself to shortcut the time it takes to reach your goals because you know mentorship is the best way to get what you really want!
And you want this all in the next 3-6 months?
Here’s what to do
- Apply for a free consultation with me here by filling out the form and booking a time
- Meet with me and make a plan for where you want to be in 3-6 months time
- Execute with me as your Guide!
Caveat-
If you are
-not coachable and can’t receive feedback about yourself from others
-content with staying where you are even if it means sabotaging what’s possible for your intimate life
-are “broke” or just looking for freebies and not willing to invest in yourself to create powerful intimacy, confidence, and have great sex
-think sex is bad or dirty
Then this work is not for you.
Please share this with someone who would benefit from this, and book a call if that person is YOU!
I can’t wait to show you what’s possible in your erotic and emotional connections 🙂
Your go to relationship coach online,
Amaya Shiva